Having a profound conversation can boost happiness levels, but trivial chatter can be depressing, scientists say.

Psychologists investigated whether happy and unhappy people differed because of the types of conversations they engaged in.

Volunteers wore an unobtrusive recording device to monitor conversations with friends and colleagues for four days.

Researchers then listened to the recordings and identified them as trivial small talk or substantive discussions.

In addition, the volunteers completed personality and wellbeing assessments.
Reporting the findings in the journal Psychological Science, the researchers said the recordings revealed some startling findings.

Greater wellbeing was related to spending less time alone and more time talking to others. The happiest participants spent 25 per cent less time alone and 70 per cent more time talking than the unhappiest.

But the researchers were surprised to discover that the type of conversations people took part in also affected their happiness levels.

The happiest participants had twice as many deep and meaningful conversations and one third as much small talk as the unhappiest.

Matthias Mehl, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, said: "These findings suggest that the happy life is social and conversationally deep rather than solitary and superficial."

The researchers conclude that profound conversations may have the potential to make people happier.

They said: "Just as self-disclosure can instill a sense of intimacy in a relationship, deep conversations may instill a sense of meaning in interaction with partners."

10 (More) Reasons You're Not Rich

by Jeffrey Strain

Many people assume they aren't rich because they don't earn enough money. If I only earned a little more, I could save and invest better, they say.

The problem with that theory is they were probably making exactly the same argument before their last several raises. Becoming a millionaire has less to do with how much you make, it's how you treat money in your daily life.

The list of reasons you may not be rich doesn't end at 10. Caring what your neighbors think, not being patient, having bad habits, not having goals, not being prepared, trying to make a quick buck, relying on others to handle your money, investing in things you don't understand, being financially afraid and ignoring your finances.

Here are 10 more possible reasons you aren't rich:

You care what your car looks like: A car is a means of transportation to get from one place to another, but many people don't view it that way. Instead, they consider it a reflection of themselves and spend money every two years or so to impress others instead of driving the car for its entire useful life and investing the money saved.

You feel entitlement: If you believe you deserve to live a certain lifestyle, have certain things and spend a certain amount before you have earned to live that way, you will have to borrow money. That large chunk of debt will keep you from building wealth.

You lack diversification: There is a reason one of the oldest pieces of financial advice is to not keep all your eggs in a single basket. Having a diversified investment portfolio makes it much less likely that wealth will suddenly disappear.

You started too late: The magic of compound interest works best over long periods of time. If you find you're always saying there will be time to save and invest in a couple more years, you'll wake up one day to find retirement is just around the corner and there is still nothing in your retirement account.

You don't do what you enjoy: While your job doesn't necessarily need to be your dream job, you need to enjoy it. If you choose a job you don't like just for the money, you'll likely spend all that extra cash trying to relieve the stress of doing work you hate.

You don't like to learn: You may have assumed that once you graduated from college, there was no need to study or learn. That attitude might be enough to get you your first job or keep you employed, but it will never make you rich. A willingness to learn to improve your career and finances are essential if you want to eventually become wealthy.

You buy things you don't use: Take a look around your house, in the closets, basement, attic and garage and see if there are a lot of things you haven't used in the past year. If there are, chances are that all those things you purchased were wasted money that could have been used to increase your net worth.


You don't understand value: You buy things for any number of reasons besides the value that the purchase brings to you. This is not limited to those who feel the need to buy the most expensive items, but can also apply to those who always purchase the cheapest goods. Rarely are either the best value, and it's only when you learn to purchase good value that you have money left over to invest for your future.

Your house is too big: When you buy a house that is bigger than you can afford or need, you end up spending extra money on longer debt payments, increased taxes, higher upkeep and more things to fill it. Some people will try to argue that the increased value of the house makes it a good investment, but the truth is that unless you are willing to downgrade your living standards, which most people are not, it will never be a liquid asset or money that you can ever use and enjoy.

You fail to take advantage of opportunities: There has probably been more than one occasion where you heard about someone who has made it big and thought to yourself, "I could have thought of that." There are plenty of opportunities if you have the will and determination to keep your eyes open.

21 Things To Remember

* No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission.

* Most people will be about as happy, as they decide to be

* Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently.

* Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will have.

* Success stops when you do.

* When your ship comes in.... make sure you are willing to unload it.

* You will never have it all together.

* Life is a journey...not a destination. Enjoy the trip!

* The biggest lie on the planet When I get what I want I will be happy.

* The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.

* I've learned that ultimately , 'takers' lose and 'givers' win.

* Life's precious moments don't have value, unless they are shared.

* If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive.

* We often fear the thing we want the most.

* He or she who laughs......lasts.

* Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.

* Look for opportunities..not guarantees.

* Life is what's coming....not what was.

* Success is getting up one more time.

* Now is the most interesting time of all.

* When things go wrong.....don't go with them.

Ten Keys for Finding Happiness

Use these Ten Keys for Finding Happiness in Your Life

1. Live on purpose. Joyful aliveness connects you with your purpose. Learn the skills you need to create happiness. Discover the activities and pursuits that make your heart sing! These engaging activities provide clues to your purpose and will assist you in finding happiness.

If you want to maintain desperation and unhappiness, then believe that life has no purpose.

2. Find Happiness right now. No other time exists for experiencing happiness. Only the present moment contains the spark of life!

You may also create misery by constantly wanting to speed ahead to some other time. Most people live their lives wanting to exist elsewhere and elsewhen.

3. Accept total responsibility for your life! You create your reality and your emotions. Your power and focus exceed your wildest dreams. See this short video about finding happiness through creating reality.

You can choose to blame and whine, pretending that your life situation came from without, rather than from within. As within, so without. Accept total responsibility for all.

4. Act in boldness. Take on challenges and pursue lofty goals. Overcoming difficulties and obstacles provide some of the most exquisite joys in life.

To create misery, play it totally safe. Never do anything scary or risky. Follow your fears and let them guide your actions. For happiness and joy - feel the fear, and do it anyway!

5. Expect happiness. Hope consists of a perfect expectation of desirable things to come. Picture desirable things to come. You choose what to think about, and what to visualize in your mind's eye! Imagine yourself finding happiness.

Despair consists of a perfect expectation of undesirable things to come. To increase despair, simply imagine in detail terrible things that may happen to you. The better your imagination, the deeper the despair. You get what you truly expect, so expect happiness.

6. Increase your awareness. Feel your emotions consciously. Identify your core beliefs. Constantly learn and grow from the inside. Your unhealthy attitudes, habits, and behaviors will start to drop away like fall leaves. Watch this quick video on identifying emotions.

To maintain apathy and misery, just remain unaware. Allow clarity to flee from you like a deer from a hunter. Remain in unconsciousness and cloudiness - afraid to explore your beliefs.

7. Build your connections. Our relationships give life meaning and happiness. All of us truly connect to one another in the inner world. Building connections in the physical world builds on this inner reality and helps us in finding happiness.

To create misery, simply separate yourself from others. Think that you exist as an independent entity, and other people merely drag you down. Insist on separateness and division. Deny the truth of connectedness and pursue unreality.

8. Learn and read daily. We grow in large measure due to the people we meet and the books we read. Did you read 52 books last year? Did you foster more friendships? We create happiness when we grow and increase our wisdom.

To prevent happiness, try not to meet any new people this year, and don't read any new books either. Simply stay just the same person with the exact same ideas. For optimal joy, go for optimal growth and learning!

9. Serve other people. Truly recognize other people as real people, with needs and wants just like your own. Think how you can bring a smile to someone, and then do it! Give increased life in every encounter. Service is a huge key for finding happiness in your life.

To create misery, ignore other people and totally concern yourself with your own needs. Don't think of other people as real.

10. Prioritize your actions. Know your goals and purposes, and put power and faith into every action. Do each action with focus and purpose, and know why you choose the activities you expend your energy on.

If you want to decrease joy, simply do as many things as you can each day. Never think of which tasks connect with your goals, simply busy yourself with work.

Enjoy the Ten Keys to Finding Happiness!

Start for yourself

Start for yourself

Face your greatest fears

And take the new step of faith

Because only who can see the invisible

Can do the impossible.

God opens a door before your eyes

It's up to you to find out

Help yourself and explore the things outside.

If only you could see the genuine smile

Through the eyes of an innocent child

That gives you different insight

Sometimes it's better to be like a child

They take the challenge of life

No matter what comes out

You will see them playing around.

If you want to cope-up with your grief,

You must help and start for yourself

Minimize your self-centeredness,

Maximize your faith and strength for living

Because, God, you are still alive!

There are more things to explore outside.

Even the air you breathed, the voice you've heard,

The things you've seen,

Are enough to analyze,

You are still fortunate to be alive!

You are blessed to take another day

To feel the sun's ray

Hey, didn't you know that you are nature's greatest miracle?

Defuse Stress for a More Enjoyable Day

37 ways to calm down fast.

An Unhealthy Burden

Some days it seems as if life throws you stress left, right, up, and down. It can drain your energy, destroy your good mood, and challenge your outlook. Those are the obvious mental repercussions.

But science has shown that stress is not merely a metaphysical thing. We have discovered that stress causes your body to release hormones that raise blood pressure, speed up your heart and breathing, halt digestion, cause a surge in blood sugar, and more. When stress is ongoing -- such as the stress caused by money problems, bad relationships, or an overburdensome job -- this constant physical reaction can significantly raise your risk of colds, diabetes, heart disease, back troubles, and almost every other major health concern. Indeed, stress is emerging as one of the principal contributors to poor health in modern countries.

There's more. On a daily basis, stress often leads to unhealthy habits. A really bad day pushes you to the nearest doughnut or ice-cream store. It saps your willingness to exercise or eat well or have fun. It causes you to tune out the world, to sit in front of the television and ignore your relationships.

And yet stress can be relatively easy to manage. All it takes is a mental commitment to it -- and an open mind. Old-fashioned thinkers scoff at things like deep breathing, positive thinking, and guided imagery. Some are also put off by the openness and public display of emotions involved in some stress-relief methods. But these are scientifically proven to work, doctors endorse and recommend them, and the benefits are fast and real. These proven approaches to stress management work. Give several a try.

1. Embrace the number one truth about stress: Only you create it. Stress isn't defined as a large workload, a difficult child, or a rise in terrorism. Stress is your physical and mental reaction to these external stimuli. Remember the truism about alcoholism? The one that says admitting you are an alcoholic is more than 50 percent of the cure? The same is true for stress: Embracing the fact that stress is your reaction to external stimuli -- and not the stimuli themselves -- is half the battle toward managing it. You can't change a crazy world. But you can learn to handle it with humor, humility, and hope. Not coincidentally, virtually every stress-relief method that follows is about how to improve your reaction to external factors.

2. Give your partner a hug every day before work. It's so simple, yet so often overlooked when you're trying to make your lunch, find your shoes and keys, and get on the highway before rush-hour gridlock. Research from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill found that the few seconds it takes to hug your partner can help you remain calm as chaos unfolds around you.

3. Buy yourself flowers once a week and display them prominently on your desk. Women who sat near a bouquet of flowers were more relaxed during a typing assignment than women who didn't have flowers, according to a Kansas State University study of 90 women.

Relax Yourself

4. Take a deep breath and then try to see yourself in someone else's shoes. As for your dimwit boss and others who seem to try to annoy you, know that they are probably experiencing just as much inner turmoil as they are creating around them, says Jay Winner, M.D., a family physician, stress-management teacher in Santa Barbara, California, and author of Stress Management Made Simple: Effective Ways to Beat Stress for Better Health. "When people are rude, they are usually suffering in one way or another," says Dr. Winner.

5. Use the otherwise stressful time of waiting in line as a chance to relax. When you make a split decision about which line of cars to pull behind at a tollbooth or which line of carts to stand behind at the grocery store, chances are some other line will move more quickly. In the worst-case scenario, one of the customers in front of you needs not one, but two price checks -- and then comes up short on cash and must void out some of the items the clerk just rang up. Rather than sending your stress hormones into the stratosphere as you steam over your bad luck, think about how busy you usually are and recognize the time -- in reality, usually just a few minutes -- as a gift in which you can just relax, says Dr. Winner. "As you wait, think about things in life for which you are grateful, meditate on your breath, talk to one of the other customers, or look at a magazine."

6. Develop a ritual in the morning that focuses on calmness, beauty, people who support you, or anything that helps you feel a sense of peace. You might, for example, spend a few moments reminding yourself of your blessings. Joan Lang, M.D., chair of the department of psychiatry at Saint Louis University School of Medicine, says she finds daily balance each morning by making a mental note to do something spiritual, something nurturing for herself and for someone else, and something physical. Your ritual might involve sitting outside (weather permitting), taking in your surroundings, and appreciating the sounds of the birds and the sights of sun glistening off the leaves and grass. If you can't sit outdoors, go to a room in your home that you find calming. Settle down, take a few deep breaths, and call to mind three people or things that make your life worth living. As your inner gratitude builds, pledge to commit one small act during the day that will help someone else -- either someone you know or a perfect stranger -- experience this same inner gratitude.

7. Twice a day, breathe deeply for three to five minutes. As you breathe, focus your mind on your breath and push all other distracting thoughts from your consciousness, suggests Rocco Lo Bosco, a massage therapist, yoga instructor, and author of Buddha Wept.

8. Walk the stress off. Stress hormones prepare your body for a physical response. A healthy way to respond to a rush of stress, then, is to get physical. Go for a brisk 15-minute walk and burn off your nervous energy. Use the time to think through the issue and return to a positive, peaceful frame of mind.

9. When you get out of bed in the morning, spend a few minutes consciously sensing your body from toes to head. Focus on the feet first. Notice how they feel from the inside out and mentally relax them. Then move upward to your ankles, then to your knees, on up your legs to your torso, chest, upper back, neck, head, and face. As you get used to the technique, you can bring your awareness inside your body and focus on relaxing each body part whenever you start to feel stressed, suggests Lo Bosco.

Count on a Friend

10. Designate one person to whom you can vent your frustrations. Complaining widely about your work or family frustrations is not a healthy hobby to have -- not only does it keep you in a negative frame of mind, but it's not very good for your professional or personal relationships either. The solution: Designate one trustworthy friend or family member to be your confidant. Someone who is discreet and knows just to listen and not to attempt to solve all your problems. Use that person to listen as you openly voice your stresses and how they are affecting you. Then, to the rest of the world, present yourself as positive and in control. Admit to stress, but don't detail it. You'll be amazed at how acting that way can make it a reality!

11. When you're ready to rip out your hair, phone a friend. People who have strong social ties live longer. A diversionary conversation with a close romantic partner, friend, or family member helps prevent stress hormones from triggering high blood pressure and other health complications.

12. Don't take the bait. If you really wanted to, you could spend your entire life angry at the world -- at the rude salesclerks, the bad bosses, the crazy drivers, the lousy politicians, the unfair prices for a good piece of salmon. Happy, low-stress people choose not to get angry, even when the opportunity is dangled right in front of them. Practice this. The next time someone does something that could -- maybe even should -- anger you, smile instead and say to yourself, "I'm not going to take the bait."

13. Don't respond to anger with anger. Confrontations tend to escalate. Next time you suddenly find yourself on the receiving end of aggression, don't automatically respond with the same. Take a breath, pause, then respond calmly and honestly, without undue defensiveness. If the other person won't engage constructively or is being irrational, then smile and excuse yourself, with the message that you'll be happy to discuss the issue when the person regains his composure or reason.

14. Carry around a lucky "rabbit's foot" that helps you feel calm. Your "rabbit's foot" might come in the form of a photograph of your grandchildren, a favorite poem, or a Bible verse. Carry it around and focus on it whenever you need to relax, suggests Scott Sheperd, Ph.D., author of Who's In Charge? Attacking the Stress Myth.

15. Every night before bed, take five minutes to look over your day. Instead of asking yourself, "How did my day go?" ask "How did I handle my day, and how does that compare with six months ago?" Focusing on what you can control -- your response to stress -- will help you feel more in control.

16. Decompress with a single alcoholic drink at the end of the day. Not only will it help prevent heart disease -- one of the side effects of stress -- but it will also disable your psychological inhibitions. "When we let our guard down a bit, we can ventilate some of our emotions and feelings that we would otherwise harbor within us," says James Campbell Quick, M.D., a distinguished professor at the University of Texas at Arlington. Just be sure to stop at one drink.

Surrounded by Calm

17. Each Sunday, plan out your meals for one week. Studies show that as late as 4 p.m., a majority of people don't know what they're going to have for dinner that night. Planning ahead prevents the end-of-workday stress of trying to figure out what to eat. "Knowing what's for dinner when you come in from work cuts down on stress and encourages better eating and family time," says Audrey Thomas, an organizational consultant and author of The Road Called Chaos.

18. Decorate your office walls with your children's or grandchildren's pictures. Studies find that viewing works of art -- and yes, children's pictures are art -- lowers stress hormones. If you don't want to hang up finger-painted stick figures, go to www.print-art.com to print out copies of works of art from the world's great masters.

19. Relax with a cup of basil tea. Thought to help induce a state of calm, this herb is easy to grow in a container garden and one of the easiest fresh herbs to find at your grocery store. Place three washed fresh basil leaves in a cup of hot water. Steep 10 minutes, then sip.

20. If exercise isn't helping to lower your stress level, switch from a repetitive type of exercise to a type that engages your mind. "Sometimes workouts are not effective at reducing stress because we use the time to think about all the stressful things we have going on," explains Larina Kase, Psy.D., president of Performance and Success Coaching and a psychologist at the Center for Treatment and Study of Anxiety at the University of Pennsylvania. Step aerobics, very active spinning classes (where you change positions a lot), and circuit training or interval training (where you alternate different activities) prevent your mind from drifting, providing the mental break you need. A good option at home is dancing. Play your favorite music, and really get into it. Involve your whole family to benefit one and all, and add a great "bonding" experience into the bargain.

21. Go somewhere blue or green. Cool colors, such as light blues and greens, help people to relax, feel calm, and relieve stress, says Dr. Kase. When you're at the end of your wits, sit in a room where you can surround yourself with cool colors or find a bench in a garden. Having lush green plants in your home or office can provide similar color-related benefits.

22. Take on just one new activity at a time. When you try to master too many new activities at once, you can easily feel overwhelmed, explains Edward J. Cumella, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist and director of research and education at the Remuda Ranch Treatment Centers in Wickenburg, Arizona. "Both at work and at home, take on new commitments with care," he says. "When your job is pushing the envelope, don't do more at home. Don't buy a new house and simultaneously take on higher car payments. When your home life is stressful and changing, don't quit your job or change careers!"

Focus on Simplicity

23. Schedule six to eight hours of free time each week. Use the time to daydream, read a novel, take a nap, see a movie, or generally relax in whatever way feels best to you. This is your time. Guard it as closely as you do your PIN code for the ATM.

24. Drop in on a yoga class. Just one class is all you need to lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol, according to a study from Jefferson Medical College. Researchers took blood samples from 16 beginners taking their first week of yoga classes. Cortisol levels dropped after the first class.

25. Several times during the day, immerse yourself fully in the task at hand. Chew your food slowly and taste every bite. Notice the temperature and sensation of water as you wash the dishes. You can even just sit and breathe, noticing the temperature of the air as it travels in and out of your nostrils. This will help you let go of stressful thoughts and allow you to rest in the present moment. "When you are relaxed, you stop to smell the roses, taste your meal, and enjoy your grandkids. Your life then seems more full of wonderful things, and that in turns makes you more optimistic, which makes you calmer and happier," says Rob Goldblatt, Psy.D., author of The Boy Who Didn't Want to Be Sad.

26. Count your blessings once a day. Once every day, say to yourself (or to someone else): "I feel lucky to have ------ in my life" or "I feel privileged to have ------" Fill in the blanks with the names of family or friends, or with other positives, such as good health or a good career, suggests Dr. Winner.

27. Have a really good cry. By crying tears you were holding in, you can eliminate depression, make it easier to think clearly, heal old pain and hurt, and achieve a sense of inner peace, says Southern California psychotherapist Tina Tessina, Ph.D., author of It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction. Plus, she says, studies find that crying boosts the immune system and reduces levels of stress hormones.

28. When you're stressed or tired and someone wants more of you than you can give, tell him you only have a few minutes to talk or that you are tired and not able to really listen right then. Believe it or not, he will trust you more because you are honest and you will not be taking on more issues than you can tackle, says Dr. Kase.

29. Practice some difficult assertiveness skills such as declining a project, telling someone that you cannot talk now, expressing disagreement or disapproval or recommending an alternative. Increasing assertiveness skills can greatly reduce your feelings of stress at work and increase your sense of self-confidence, says Dr. Kase. Be assertive in a friendly but firm way.

Remember the Good

30. Put Post-it notes on your bathroom mirror, on your car dashboard, and on your office computer that say "Slow down" and "What's your rush?" "Your brain takes many cues from your body, and sometimes it misinterprets the cues, so use that to your advantage," says Patricia A. Farrell, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist and the author of How to Be Your Own Therapist. Slowing everything down -- walking instead of running, listening to slow music, speaking more slowly than normal -- will trick your brain into calming down your stress level too.

31. Think of your children or your pet. Sometimes diverting your thoughts momentarily to those who love you, who matter more to you, and who bring you pleasure helps you instantly put things in perspective during very stressful moments. You don't have a pet? Get one. Studies find that pets, particularly dogs, are one of the best stress-relievers and health promoters around.

32. Carry a small notebook with you everywhere. This is your "worry" journal. When you feel stressed, whip it out and scribble down everything on your mind at that minute. Close the journal. Close your eyes. Take 10 deep breaths. Now open the journal and read what you've written. You'll find your worries are not nearly as stressful as you thought now that you've gotten them out of your head and onto the page.

33. Spritz lavender scent into the air (don't forget to spray yourself). Studies find the scent is instantly relaxing.

34. Unclench your muscles. Until you do this exercise, you won't even know how tense you really are. It's called progressive relaxation and it works like this: Starting with your toes and working your way up, clench each muscle for 10 seconds, then thoroughly relax them. The whole exercise shouldn't take more than a couple of minutes, and you'll feel as if you've just undergone a massage.

35. Deprive your senses. You've heard of sensory deprivation, right? That's the theory behind those tanks in which people float in body-temperature water in a dark, enclosed capsule. Well, you don't always have access to one of those. Instead, find the darkest room in your house or office. Turn off all the lights, pull the shades, and close the door. Slip an eyeshade over your eyes and stuff earplugs into your ears. Then lie back on the couch or a few pillows, get comfortable, and let the relaxation take you away. (You might want to set an alarm clock just in case you fall asleep.)

36. Slip in a CD of solo piano music from Chopin. Or Enya, Ella Fitzgerald, Marvin Gaye, or Hawaiian guitar. Soothing music, researchers find, actually produces slower brain-wave patterns, like those observed when people are about to fall asleep or are taking certain medications.

37. Find your own credo, or words to live by. It could be something as simple as the Serenity Prayer, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change ... " or as complex as the Rudyard Kipling poem "If," one of our favorites.

20 Simple Ways to Get Happy

Take control of your mood and improve your health.

State of Mind

Happiness is ephemeral, subject to the vagaries of everything from the weather to the size of your bank account.

We're not suggesting that you can reach a permanent state called "happiness" and remain there. But there are many ways to swerve off the path of anxiety, anger, frustration, and sadness into a state of happiness once or even several times throughout the day. Here are 20 ideas to get you started. Choose the ones that work for you. If tuning out the news or making lists will serve only to stress you further, try another approach.

1. Practice mindfulness. Be in the moment. Instead of worrying about your checkup tomorrow while you have dinner with your family, focus on the here and now -- the food, the company, the conversation.

2. Laugh out loud. Just anticipating a happy, funny event can raise levels of endorphins and other pleasure-inducing hormones and lower production of stress hormones. Researchers at the University of California, Irvine, tested 16 men who all agreed they thought a certain videotape was funny. Half were told three days in advance they would watch it. They started experiencing biological changes right away. When they actually watched the video, their levels of stress hormones dropped significantly, while their endorphin levels rose 27 percent and their growth hormone levels (indicating benefit to the immune system) rose 87 percent.

3. Go to sleep. We have become a nation of sleep-deprived citizens. Taking a daily nap or getting into bed at 8 p.m. one night with a good book -- and turning the light out an hour later -- can do more for your mood and outlook on life than any number of bubble baths or massages.

4. Hum along. Music soothes more than the savage beast. Studies find music activates parts of the brain that produce happiness -- the same parts activated by food or sex. It's also relaxing. In one study older adults who listened to their choice of music during outpatient eye surgery had significantly lower heart rates, blood pressure, and cardiac workload (that is, their heart didn't have to work as hard) as those who had silent surgery.

5. Declutter. It's nearly impossible to meditate, breathe deeply, or simply relax when every surface is covered with papers and bills and magazines, your cabinets bulge, and you haven't balanced your checkbook in six months. Plus, the repetitive nature of certain cleaning tasks -- such as sweeping, wiping, and scrubbing -- can be meditative in and of itself if you focus on what you're doing.

6. Just say no. Eliminate activities that aren't necessary and that you don't enjoy. If there are enough people already to handle the church bazaar and you're feeling stressed by the thought of running the committee for yet another year, step down and let someone else handle things.

7. Make a list. There's nothing like writing down your tasks to help you organize your thoughts and calm your anxiety. Checking off each item provides a great sense of fulfillment.

8. Do one thing at a time. Edward Suarez, Ph.D., associate professor of medical psychology at Duke, found that people who multitask are more likely to have high blood pressure. Take that finding to heart. Instead of talking on the phone while you fold laundry or clean the kitchen, sit down in a comfortable chair and turn your entire attention over to the conversation. Instead of checking e-mail as you work on other projects, turn off your e-mail function until you finish the report you're writing. This is similar to the concept of mindfulness.

9. Garden. Not only will the fresh air and exercise provide their own stress reduction and feeling of well-being, but the sense of accomplishment that comes from clearing a weedy patch, watching seeds turn into flowers, or pruning out dead wood will last for hours, if not days.

10. Tune out the news. For one week go without reading the newspaper, watching the news, or scanning the headlines online. Instead, take a vacation from the misery we're exposed to every day via the media and use that time for a walk, a meditation session, or to write in your journal.

Block and Focus

11. Take a dog for a walk. There are numerous studies that attest to the stress-relieving benefits of pets. In one analysis researchers evaluated the heart health of 240 couples, half of whom owned a pet. Those couples with pets had significantly lower heart rates and blood pressure levels when exposed to stressors than the couples who did not have pets. In fact, the pets worked even better at buffering stress than the spouses did.

12. Scent the air. Research finds that the benefits of aromatherapy in relieving stress are real. In one study people exposed to rosemary had lower anxiety levels, increased alertness, and performed math computations faster. Adults exposed to lavender showed an increase in the type of brain waves that suggest increased relaxation. Today you have a variety of room-scenting methods, from plug-in air fresheners to essential oil diffusers, potpourri, and scented candles.

13. Ignore the stock market. Simply getting your quarterly 401(k) statement can be enough to send your blood pressure skyrocketing. In fact, Chinese researchers found a direct link between the daily performance of the stock market and the mental health of those who closely followed it. Astute investors know that time heals most financial wounds, so give your investments time -- and give yourself a break.

14. Visit a quiet place. Libraries, museums, gardens, and places of worship provide islands of peace and calm in today's frantic world. Find a quiet place near your house and make it your secret getaway.

15. Volunteer. Helping others enables you to put your own problems into perspective and also provides social interaction. While happy people are more likely to help others, helping others increases your happiness. One study found that volunteer work enhanced all six aspects of well-being: happiness, life satisfaction, self-esteem, sense of control over life, physical health, and depression.

16. Spend time alone. Although relationships are one of the best antidotes to stress, sometimes you need time alone to recharge and reflect. Take yourself out to lunch or to a movie, or simply spend an afternoon reading, browsing in a bookstore, or antiquing.

17. Walk mindfully. You probably already know that exercise is better than tranquilizers for relieving anxiety and stress. But what you do with your mind while you're walking can make your walk even more beneficial. In a study called the Ruth Stricker Mind/Body Study, researchers divided 135 people into five groups of walkers for 16 weeks. Group one walked briskly, group two at a slow pace, and group three at a slow pace while practicing "mindfulness," a mental technique to bring about the relaxation response, a physiological response in which the heart rate slows and blood pressure drops. This group was asked to pay attention to their footsteps, counting one, two, one, two, and to visualize the numbers in their mind. Group four practiced a form of tai chi, and group five served as the control, changing nothing about their lives. The group practicing mindfulness showed significant declines in anxiety and had fewer negative and more positive feelings about themselves. Overall they experienced the same stress-reducing effects of the brisk walkers. Better yet, the effects were evident immediately.

18. Give priority to close relationships. One study of more than 1,300 men and women of various ages found that those who had a lot of supportive friends were much more likely to have healthier blood pressure, cholesterol levels, blood sugar metabolism, and stress hormone levels than those with two or fewer close friends. Women, and to a lesser extent men, also seemed to benefit from good relationships with their parents and spouses. Studies also find that people who feel lonely, depressed, and isolated are three to five times more likely to get sick and die prematurely than those who have feelings of love, connection, and community.

19. Take care of the soul. In study after study, actively religious people are happier and cope better with crises, according to David Myers, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Hope College in Holland, Michigan. For many people faith provides a support community, a sense of life's meaning, feelings of ultimate acceptance, a reason to focus beyond yourself, and a timeless perspective on life's woes. Even if you're not religious, a strong spirituality may offer similar benefits.

20. Count your blessings. People who pause each day to reflect on some positive aspect of their lives (their health, friends, family, freedom, education, etc.) experience a heightened sense of well-being.