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Wednesday, October 7, 2009

40 Ways To Keep Your Husband's Love, —Guaranteed—

1- Make sure you make a new meal every day. No leftovers.

2- Always wear something that "makes him happy" when he gets home.

3- Your husband is your life, make sure you treat him like a god.

4- Don't be a bossy, nagging little witch. It helps no one. Esp you.

5- Be very generous to him. Always make sure he gets the last pizza slice and stuff.

6- Remember his lap is your seat. A quick jump here and there to shower him with kisses works best.

7- Avoid anger.

8- Look good for him and smell great. Clothing is optional!

9- Don’t be rigid, understand he works with idiots all day long and doesn't want to be nagged as soon as he enters the door. Be flexible at all times.

10- Be a good woman, understand he is a bad listener and doesn't care.

11- Accept that is will is law and never argue.

12- Never ever call your husband any gay ass names. He is a man, treat him as such.

13- Surprise him repeatedly, focus on the bed room and the lack of clothing.

14- Use more tongue

15- Accept him shortcomings/ everyone has a few hundred

16- Show that you appreciate him by making sure he is satisfied in all aspects. No need to list them they are common sense.

17- Don't be a ***** to his mom.

18- Don't be a motormouth. Give him some peace and quiet at home as soon as he comes home.

19- Don't ***** about him to your girlfriends

20- Again make sure the bed

21- Get rid of the same old routine once in a while, scrub the rust. Make the bedroom far more exciting

22- Make sure you think good things of him and then do good things. Actions are better than thoughts esp if they don't involve clothing,

23- Ignore all of the words/actions you don’t like

24- Be more than patient. Be a little pixie.

25- Act jealous. Don't act crazy.

26- Be humble and a freak.

27- Don’t put a price on his happiness.

28- Don't boss him around the house.

29- You better love his mother!

30- Show him how ideal a wife you are in the bed room, kitchen and infront of others (The last two are not sexually oriented you sick sick people).

31- You better pray for him and his family or you will go to hell for being a bad wife.

32- Don't bring his past, even if an ex-girlfriends shows up. That **** is buried. Let it stay there.

33- Don’t demand favours for nothing in return.

34- Learn to compromise. Specifically when you are right.

35- Make food he likes and don't complain about him not dieting and what not. You live only once.

36- He is your husband. Treat him like Romeo, Brad Pitt and Winston Churchill all rolled in to one.

37- Lady on the street - freak in the bed. Words to live by.

38- Don’t hold grudges. No silent treatment. No whining or moaning.

39- Avoid being harsh hearted and moody.

40- Respect him and his mom. They are all there is in your world.

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