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Sunday, September 6, 2009

For ladies: 16 (sneaky) ways to seduce someone

Getting a guy to “agree” to sex is like getting a Labrador to “agree” to eat a rib eye. But if you're extra bold, creative, even stealthy—like these women were—he'll never forget it (and neither will you). Below are some tried and tested ways by ladies who managed to seduce males effectively.

“I fed his libido”

“After a dinner party, where my husband and I had been served a special soup that was full of cloves, we went home tipsy and tired. But even exhausted, we only dozed lightly before we woke up, spontaneously got naked and jumped each other. We tried to go back to sleep, but it happened again...and again! We couldn't believe it—it had to be the clove soup. Of course I called my friend for the recipe. A few weeks ago I made the soup, and it worked all over again. Maybe it's the placebo effect, but who cares?”—KRISTEN, 33

“I gave the bartender a special kind of tip”

“Out on a blind date with a nice but otherwise kind of bland guy, I happened to notice that one of the bartenders at the restaurant was incredibly hot. On my way to the ladies' room, he bumped me slightly and coyly said, ‘Please stop running into me.’ I spent the rest of dinner making eyes at him, and after another sangria or two, I excused myself again to go to the bathroom. The bartender came over and said that he'd been waiting for me. I held the bathroom door open and said, ‘Well, come on then.’ He did, and moments later we were making out like bandits. Periodically I would stop the action and say, ‘Wait, I am on a date!’ which would just make us more excited. We exchanged numbers, and I went back to the table to thank my poor, patient date and explain that we just weren't compatible. I went home alone that night, but man, was I ever happy!”—AMY, 29

“I just jumped him!”

“A former boyfriend and I were in a two-month-long sexual dry spell. Desperate, I waited until he was asleep one night, stripped down to absolutely nothing, jumped on top of him, pinned him down with my arms and said, ‘If we don't do it right this second, I'm going to become a nun.’ He was like, game on! It was a little bit humiliating, but hey, it worked.”—CHRISTINA, 26

“I told the most ridiculous lie”

“A friend and I were on a girls' vacation together when two good-looking guys approached us. Making conversation, they asked me what I did for a living, and out of nowhere, I made up a story and said I was the founder of a certain online company. Well, it turns out they were the founders of that company—really, the exact company—and were on vacation celebrating a recent merger. We spent the night talking about how funny it was that I had picked the exact wrong lie! Or maybe it was exactly the right one: I ended up going home with one of the guys.”—ANDREA, 35

“I pulled rank”

“I work the late-night shift at a TV news station. After weeks of flirting with a hot new coworker, I left an anonymous note on his desk saying he was needed in the studio first thing in the morning. When he got there, I was waiting for him in the dark, sitting on top of the anchor's desk, showing the type of cleavage that even the most flexible of human resource managers would deem inappropriate. Now we regularly hook up before everyone comes in for their shifts—let me tell you, it guarantees a very productive day at work.”—JEN, 29

"I played the damsel in distress"

"After an awful fight with my boyfriend, I really wanted to make up, so I asked him if he'd come over and fix my leaky faucet. When he let himself into my apartment, I was waiting for him in a bubble bath. Corny, but all was forgiven!" --Jennifer, 28

"I stood up for my man"

"My college boyfriend Tyler and I were playing pool with a jerk who kept mouthing off about how bad we were. I looked the guy in the eye and said, 'I don't like you, you're an asshole, stop bothering us.' Later that night, in the parking lot, Tyler suddenly kissed me and said, 'That was amazing, the way you told him off. I knew right then.' I said, 'Knew what?' He kissed me again and replied, 'That I'm in love with you.' I'd seduced him without even knowing it!" --Renee, 25

"I had a little sleepover party"

"One weekend this guy Rob and I ended up both being invited to a friend's house. I'd met him only once before but was smitten. When it was time to go to sleep the first night, he insisted that I take the guest bed and he'd take the couch. But while he was washing up, I got settled on the couch. When he saw me there, he exclaimed, 'I said I'd take the couch!' So I said, 'If you're so hell-bent on sleeping on the couch, then why don't you join me?' And he did." --Nancy, 33

Even the smoothest woman can stumble on the way to seductionville. proof: these real-life tales of whipped cream, rashes and repercussions (at least they're laughing now!).

"After my boyfriend and I had hours of exhausting fun with some 'chocolate body fondue,' we fell asleep and forgot about the (open) bottle we left on the pillow. The next day, I woke up and my hair was one big chocolate mess. It would have been funny, but I had a job interview that very morning! I couldn't get the goo out, so needless to say, there was some wicked styling involved." --Christine, 21

"One night I decided to channel my inner seductress and showed up at my boyfriend's house wearing nothing underneath my coat. I didn't own a trench coat (the classic for this scenario), so I subbed in my wool winter jacket. Halfway through my taxi ride to his house, I started itching. By the time I showed up at his door (after accidentally flashing my cab driver--lovely), my entire body was a big, red, blotchy mess!" --Sarah, 30

"On my birthday my boyfriend surprised me with a home-cooked dinner, complete with strawberry shortcake, my favorite. We got a little silly with the whipped cream and moved things to his bedroom where, on a whim, I gave myself a whipped-cream bikini. One step, though, and my bikini 'top' fell to the floor in two distinct splats. He was laughing hysterically, and the seductive mood was, alas, dead. After further research (I couldn't help but wonder how they stay on in the movies), I discovered that film pros use shaving cream instead. Good to know!" --Rachel, 29

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