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Monday, September 7, 2009

How to use Sex Toys? - 11 Reasons why a toy is Better than your Girlfriend

A lot of people ask me about how to use sex toys. Some of them even ask me why you'd bother? Shuuuurely your girlfriend is better than any male sex toy, even the Rubbot (an in-development sex toy for MALES). Clearly the masses need a little education on this subject, so, for your reading pleasure, I've assembled a short list explaining why the toy is better than your girlfriend. And yes, I'm talking about your girlfriend.

1. The Rubbot Doesn't Like Foreplay

The Rubbot doesn't like to pussy-foot around. It has no time for backrubs, incense sticks or pillow talk. Unlike your girlfriend, it likes to get straight down to business.

2. The Rubbot Knows it "Looks Nice"

The Rubbot looks great and it knows it. First thing in the morning, or after a long weekend of partying it still looks great. It never needs reassuring.

3.The Rubbot has no Birthday

The Rubbot has no birthday, at least, we won't tell you what it is. So you won't have to remember it. Or pretend like you really give a crap.

4. The Rubbot is Cheaper than your Girlfriend

We're hoping that the Rubbot will be priced around $100. This might sound pricey, but compare that to the expensive meals and gifts that you buy your girlfriend. When you add that coke to the big-mac and fries, within 20 trips to Micky-D's with your Rubbot instead of your girlfirend, it has paid for itself.

5. You can Watch Porn and Drink Beer with the Rubbot

Not only can you watch porn while playing with your Rubbot, we recommend it. Beer is a great idea too. Having two hands free, allows you to do both. Maybe your girlfriend recommends beer and porn too? I think not.

6. The Rubbot has an Off Button

When you are done with the Rubbot, turn it off. Or, when you are not in the mood for it, simply place it in a drawer or proudly display it on your coffee table. It will stand there silent. Dutiful. Ready for your next desire, whenever that might come and whatever that might be. Just like your girlfriend?

7. The Rubbot will never Leave You or Cheat on You

The Rubbot is as faithful as a 10 year old golden retriever. You won't come home to find your best friend nailing your Rubbot. Um, for example.

8. The Rubbot has No Mother

It's true. Invention is the mother of the Rubbot. It has no real mother or mother-in-law. Enough said.

9. The Rubbot won't Break Your Heart

Please see the comment above about my best friend.

10. You Can Own More than one Rubbot

The Rubbot doesn't ever get jealous. Buy one for every day of the week! Your Rubbots won't care, and we won't either.

11.The Rubbot has no "Downtime"

The "R" in Rubbot is for "Ready". It has no bad weeks. It maketh not the jammy ride.

1 comment:

  1. I have found this article about sex toys very helpful indeed. Thank you. In fact, you have probably saved my marriage. An even bigger thank you!!